Summer is shifting into Fall.

Though the sunny days of Seattle's summers has been slowly disappearing for weeks, today it really hit that Fall is fast approaching.  I can go on about much I love the drizzle and all the false emo-ness that comes with it... OR I can talk about the weird change in pace I felt today about my life going forward. If that makes sense. 

On my way back from grabbing take-out lunch for the team, a bit drenched from the rain and having to run back to my car twice. A stranger, a wonderfully handsome stranger with bright eyes, opened the door for me.  Ear to ear smiles, our eyes meet for a second as I offer my gratitude. I felt my heart quicken. And strangely, shy and nervous.  So shy and nervous that I scooted away too fast to be confused about what to do.  Scared to make a move as I normally would. 

As I was having lunch, a mix of emotions flooded in: regret, guilt, satisfaction, shame, just a crazy bunch of silliness that a high school sophomore would have.Thinking about the stranger, about all strangers, what the potential of strangers could mean.  And the mixes of emotions that would come with each.  The anxiety, the confusion, the smiles.  Oh the smiles. 

Then, after pondering for about 10 minutes, I popped open a bottle of carrot juice and started to wrap up my lunch break with a fortune cookie... I cracked 3 fortunes, in one cookie! 

Reading each, I couldn't help but smile.  As if each were to note all the things I carry on my chest at night.  Each confirming that there are some form of spirit out who understands and is reaching out. 

I couldn't help but carry the giddy smile all afternoon.  Seeing how the combination of events, people, successes and challenges are really moving forward.  I feel my steps slowing down from its manic pace yet making bigger strides.  

Maybe the next time I see him, I will keep the same smile, the same confusion, the same shyness. Maybe the next time I see another handsome stranger, luck will strike again with the same turmoils. 

The season does change fast and I find myself getting ready for fall.   

P.S. My 3 fortunes.

I need time.

I miss blogging.  

Lately, ever since moving back to Seattle.  I am on ultra intensity mode to pack a routine back into my life.  Lately, I've been on the fast track to absorb everything that is this city and its surrounding area codes (sorta).  Trying different restaurants, activities, street routes, meeting new people.    

Then there is the new job. Everyday, after about 6am, I feel as if someone invisible spirit out there is wrenching off the cap on some informational fire-hose and letting it release upon me.  Then by around noon, I am swimming in a pool of details and Morse code that I have to un-encrypt by cob (close of business, my new favorite term). 

Somewhere in between these rushes, I need to find time to do these routines that use to be apart of my life.  Blog? Watch TV? Think critically? Hope? Dream? lol.  

However, there are things that I am proud to say I never stop making time for: 

Planning a great meal from ingredients found in unexpected places like these summer squash I found in a box at work, marked "PLEASE TAKE".

Taking in the surrounding, even if only for a few minutes and secret to some.  

Randomly coming across old favorites in French, in Youtube. And spending the next 30minutes searching for the same clips in different languages to only confirm that I prefer the snooty tounge over any other. 

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In this schedule of so many people and so many things.  I do need to schedule some thinking time, or unthinking time and do some good old meditation.